Misery loves company. That's why they had kids. Raised in a home that made you feel undeserving, worthless, and not a priority. Your thoughts reproduced that environment because it's  familiar . Your siblings were your first bullies. Enabled by your parents. "Harmless" teasing turned into self-sabotage. You go to an event with your sisters and mom. You sit down at a random spot at the table. Your seat is marked with a flower. Little sister huffs and puffs. Mom rushes to move you to avoid her tantrum. Pushed out of the way again. Sister delights in winning a prize for sitting at the seat with the flower. You watch quietly. Middle child. Nothing you can do. "I would never say anything  like that to my daughters." No need to. "You're not fat; we would let you know if you were." "That looks skimpy." "You need serious help." "Church is for people like you." Treated like a lost cause. Growing up unseen. Don't bother ...